Saturday, 15 September 2012

47 reasons why I don't drink

I have to start by saying that anyone can do what they want and that I only try to stop people from specifically binge drinking - you can go get as merry as you like! Secondly, not all reasons cover all alcoholic beverages, some overlap and may offend you - there are some good reasons not to drink such as rape and religion that aren't relevant to me, but they are valid none the less

If any reasons need explaining them message me below - so, in the order I thought of them:

1) Cost, 2) Smell, 3) Taste, 4) Bad Breathe, 5) My Reputation, 
6) Being an example to the young, 7) Being Sick, 8) Becoming Ill, 9) Hangovers, 
10) Clubs are full of pretentious dicks, 11) People keep asking if I want a drink, 
12) Loss of self control and balance, 13) Emotionally draining, 14) Slows down my brain, 
15) Could be having real fun, 16) Could be learning something useful, 
17) The way alcohol is branded, 18) Increased risk of death, 19) Increased risk of injury, 
20) I don't need my inhibitions lowered, 21) I don't want to get in any habits, 
22) Increased risk of alcoholism later on in life, 23) Keeping valuables safe, 
24) Any medicinal defects, 25) 'Beer Belly' or getting fatter, 26) Effects on the liver, 
27) Fear of addiction, 28) Memory loss, 29) Effects on sleep, 30) Effects on intelligence, 
31) Slower reactions, 32) Slurred speech, 33) Dehydration, 34) Fainting/blackout, 
35) Hinders my growth while I'm young, 36) Regrets the next day, 37) Risk of drink driving,
38) Worse future employment prospects, 39) Risk of getting spiked, 40) It's a poison, 
41) Self respect, 42) Decrease in anxiety, 43) Loss of pride, 44) Decrease in honesty, 
45) Less trustworthy, 46) Losing my integrity, 47) decreased self worth

I'm sure there are more reasons I can't think of, but when you ask me 'why don't you drink?' you now know why - in full - the unedited uncensored version

Worst excuses for drinking:
1) 'Because everyone else does!' - These people shouldn't be populating the planet, seriously, stop breeding - and breathing
2) 'It's Social!' - so is a suicide pact! You can play card games, have campfires and fish without being a risk to yourself and others
3) 'It lowers your inhibitions!' - I can't deny this, but surely you're ignoring the underlying problem that you lack self confidence?? It means you're probably the sort of person to actually write 'I'm a confident person' on your CV - that means you're also an idiot

Considering a lot of people reading this are students, with no mortgage or short term debts, no 9-5 job and no children, you might have a car, a TV, a mobile phone, a computer, food to eat, a warm bed every night and friends and family around you to love you, you have little reason to relieve stress that doesn't exist - So why exactly, might I ask, do YOU drink?

Friday, 14 September 2012

Freshers Beware!

Some people might be at university already, but if this is your first year, here's some handy advice from kitchen K179, Mill Hall, Brunel:

Food - Bulk Buy ingredients to last forever, cook from scratch and make group meals, this is where you can save a lot of money and try to limit the amount of processed late night pizzas as you can, look after your bodies! Eat well and stock up on cheap biscuits for the winter

Join clubs and Societies - You will have a Freshers Fair with every society to join, throw yourself at whatever you have a vague interest in, it doesn't matter if you don't join, just try something new!

Get to know everyone on your floor - Important for security but also great to expand your friendship group, don't forget that you're probably in accommodation with the finest young minds in your year, so increase your contacts and get to know these fascinating people :)

Washing and Cleaning - Get on top of it from day one, and particularly at weekends when the cleaners aren't in, you DO NOT want to live in filthy conditions

Student Elections - These come around once a year, if politics is your thing, give it a go!

Treat it like a job - Don't ever forget what you're paying for, your degree is important and the first year can be considered if you have a placement year, work 9-5 and play at night

Get a placement year - This experience can put you ahead of the pack come the end of your degree, ask your tutor for more information

Maybe get a part time job - You'll be grateful for the the extra money, and you'll probably have the free time to do it, get some experience on your CV and maybe volunteer as often as you can at university

Money - Try give yourself a basic budget and keep to it, if you find it difficult then give yourself £5 a day, then the next month reduce it to £4 a day, until you reach a minimum budget to survive off

Nights Out - Make them special occasions, stick to birthdays and big nights out, if you're pre-drinking then buy larger bottles at cheaper prices, look out for offers and learn to consume what you've bought over a period of time

Throw yourself at Freshers Week - but remember - Be Safe!

Thursday, 13 September 2012

The most underwhelming iPhone yet

The iPhone 5 is the thinnest, lightest and most underwhelming Apple product to date.

Apple continue to improve their iPhone, which they have, I wont deny it. The 4G LTE Network is up to date  with their competitors. They have chopped away 20% of the phone to make it thinner and lighter, but still fit your hand comfortably. Gaming has been improved with a larger retina display and the same great App Store to choose from and a new faster processor will greatly improve performance.

But I cant help but feel the battery life hasn't been improved enough and they could still make the phone a little wider. The biggest problem is that it hasn't been redesigned much and feels like it's a product made by men in sheds; it should have been designed by kids with crayons and given turbo charged plasma thrusters.

I would expect Apple to be starting to think about the iPhone 6 already, whether that be released in 1 or 2 years time. I'm expecting a new 5G Network with a 5'' screen on a completely newly designed outer casing made entirely of glass. A 12 mega pixel camera on both the back and front of the device, with at least a 24 hour battery life powered by an A8 processor. It will be another 20% lighter.

Somehow I don't think Apple will listen to my demands, but if their 12 million loyal fan boys started to wince at their latest development - they might have to think big next time round.

7/10 - Needs more dragons

Premier League Predictions - Week 4

Norwich 0-0 West Ham / Bore draw. Might be a good game for the goalkeepers

Arsenal 3-1 Southampton / Arsenal to cruise through this one, Cazorla to score twice

Aston Villa 0-2 Swansea / Laudrup's Swansea should get a point from this, Villa player sent off?

Fulham 0-3 West Brom / Clarke for manager of the month, Long to score

Man Utd 2-0 Wigan / It could be 4 or 5 but missing RVP and Rooney won't stop Utd winning at OT

QPR 0-2 Chelsea / The game might be in shadow of the next instalment of Ferdinand Vs Terry

Stoke 1-2 Man City / City to scrape victory and fail to keep a clean sheet for the forth consecutive week

Sunderland 2-2 Liverpool / An emotional week for Anfield but Sunderland to hold on for a point

Reading 1-0 Tottenham / AVB to fall short again at the Madejski giving the Royals their first win

Everton 2-2 Newcastle / Reasonably even game but Newcastle could edge it

Monday, 10 September 2012

That Darn Sasquatch - Here There Be Monsters

Yeah - I do EP reviews now:

Sasquatch are my mates' band that I've known for years, made of 100g of Stan, 200fl. oz. of Robin, some diced Kyle and a generous dollop of Dean. Hmm ... Dollop of Dean. Paha - Dollop ... anyway ...

Firstly, listening through as I type, it is very well produced. It's also well written and thought through, displaying a depth of musical prowess with Red Hot Chili hooks and flowing melodies which glide effortlessly from start to finish. That sentence was lovely! Ahem er ... some songs on the new EP are still reasonably new, even to the faithful Sasquatchers, with a completely new acoustic version of Up The Wall. This has the same feel as Busted's acoustic of Thunderbirds or half of Bowling for Soup's discography.

I'm not usually a fan of the whiny love song about your first crush in high school, but forgetting the creepy heavy breathing from Kyle, the tracks were created in the band's image, it's hearty and their sound is unique. The music has personality and depth to it, it's layered like a sponge cake, but its been made with funky jam and creamy riffs, sandwiched between Robin's turkey drumsticks with a side of BBQ Bass and cheesy vocals!!

It's a genuinely very good debut and leaves a lot to be expected for the future :)

Look up their FB page for more!

New Season

Premier League Prediction 2012/13:

1) Chelsea
2) Man Utd
3) Man City
4) Arsenal
5) Everton
6) Spurs
7) Liverpool
8) Newcastle
9) Fulham
10) Swansea
11) Sunderland
12) West Brom
13) Stoke
14) Villa
15) Wigan
16) QPR
17) Reading
18) Southampton
19) West Ham
20) Norwich